... know ... what ... did !

I know what I did
I am already paying for it
It's hard to resist
Impossible to forget.

It wasn't how I had anticipated
It isn't how I had wished it to be
But now
it is what it is!

Most amazing feeling
This how I had imagined
With the most special person
This is how I had expected
Longing togetherness
This is how I had imagined
Forever and ever
This is how it should have been.

Now that it's done
Nothing can be changed
Whats done is done
It can't be changed!

Respect it
or turn your back on it
It's your choice
But forget about it
I really don't think that can be a choice.

I don't regret it
Neither do I hate it now
It's just how it is
And I have to live with it now!

I am strong enough to cherish it
And cherish what it was when it was
Frame those moments
Forever to be watched.

I respect it
And expect the same from you
For it being something to me
And nothing to you!

You were never there
It was just a boundation for you
For she was never cared for
But don't worry
As soon she may not be around!

Dreams are vague!

"I miss you"
"Yes, I miss you too"
"I can't believe it's been two years since I saw you
Seems like yesterday that you were gone", she replied.

"I know", she said.
I have been counting every second since I came back
Every second planning my next visit home
I know it's been two years now. she thought in the back of her mind.

It has been a long night.
Tiring and weary.
Drained out of energy
Quickly she went dreamy

It was all blurr
Chilly as hell
"Where are you going", said the voice
"Home", answered she!

What stops you
Why you cannot
No this is not right
Voices kept telling her

With a shrill
The dream was broken
She was home
But how, this was still unknown

She got out of bed
"Good morning, you feeling better now?, got greeted by her father
"Yeah but how did I...",she was puzzled.
"Last night you bought a one way ticket"
"A ticket to come home"

Apetite

An innocent look

Like that of a child

Planning a notorious act

In the back of his mind!

"I can't tell

I can't discuss

I am gonna be caught"

Are the various thoughts

"How do I say

How I execute it

But I have to

Let me calculate all possible ways"

She was still there

He still had it

Eyes playing hide and seek

There she got it

Dancing of the eyeballs made it quite clear

Mouth wanted to speak

But tongue had made it unclear

"Do you want some"

Were the words waiting to come out

She heard them anyway even when they weren't said aloud

"That's okay. You know about my small appetite."

So came the bright shine in his eyes

The meal was devoured with a wide smile!

Dreams are Stupid!

Table was laid

Mild wind with mild chills

Perfect evening for a candlelight dinner

With serene  peace instilled.

"Especially for you Mam"

Came a cake

Decorated with multicolored sprinklers

And a candle lighting up the bake.

What else could be more pleasing 

Than some undivided attention

Cheers to life

And the cutlery started clinking.

"It's nice to have you", she said.

"I am glad you said that", he replied.

Moments of endearment

No space for bereavement.

Tush!

Broke the dream!

She had dipped her finger in the fire of candle's beam

Cling, the meal check-in was posted online

Afterwards came in a message.

"You should have asked me."

"To hear another No and not come along?", came in the thought.

Dinner alone on the D-day

sounds stupid

But then

Dreams are stupid!

Dreams are dubious!

"Let me go clean my room"

She took off from her sight.

She wanted to get away

from the shackles that were tied

She took out the album

Started feeling how it felt

When the time was young

How alive had she felt

Her mother got up from her chair

Came to her room and stood there

Waiting for her to notice her presence

But her mind was already in the absence

Come I have made something she liked

Yeah, I was just going through her pictures

It's nice to remember her today as part of our family

Yes, And it's nice to still think of her as daily

They both smiled

Smiled in-front of each other

The moment she turned, they both broke into tears

Wake up!

We are getting late

Quickly she got dressed, for it was her sister's D-day today!

Words seem to be pompous

Every act being glorious

But then 

Dreams are dubious!