What's on your mind ?

Entering Username : *******@gmail.com    

Verifying password : *******

And I logged

into my Facebook account

1 poke,15 notifications,

10 new friend requests

and some 300+ recent updates.

Click click click

comment crap crap crap

And to exacerbate the tiredness

Popped up some serious crap.

 

My ex had made an update.

with his status going from

being "single" to " in a relationship".

I felt betrayed,

cheated again .

Thought of writing,

"You ruined me,

wish now you too get

some taste of this pain!

Eventually,all that I updated

read,"Bless you"

But I couldn't post it

as the screen had gone blue !

It froze there for a moment

something moved

and I saw the

what's on your mind space

getting a tooth !

"You, yes you.

Why don't you just share ,

what you have on your mind?

Rather than every-time,

erasing the thing

that you had just typed"

Startled to see

the inanimate thing speaking

I just sat there

letting it do

what I was actually thinking !

"You were a bastard

a pain in an ass.

you never loved me,

but i always loved you,

you jackass ! "

"Now you are hooked up

with some bitch.

Hope you soon realize

that my love for you

wasn't a hitch !"

The updates were made

and the loser was online.

He read and disappeared forever,

in less than no time !

I was happy

probably on cloud nine

because finally I had spoken

what was on my mind !

 

 [ This form of poetry is called, SHOCKETRY! which is as such  nothing but Shocking Poetry ! ]

आज फिर

आज फिर  ये होंठ  मुस्कुराएं  है ,

आज फिर दिल में एक चाहता जागी है  |

आज फिर दुनिया हसीं लग रही है ,

आज फिर जीने की तमन्ना जागी है |

आज फिर  सब अपने लगते हैं,

आज फिर  सारे  दुःख पराये हैं  |

आज फिर  ये शीश झुकता है ,

आज फिर इस्वर पर सजदा,

ये  सारी दुनिया हमारी है  |

I Won I Won I Won !!!

Yeah !!!!
I Won!
I Won!!
I Won!!!

My story, CONSEQUENCES,  has WON the 1st runner up position in The Monsoon Madness Contest at The Writer's Lounge.
  

I am so on cloud nine today !!
Yeayyyyyyy !!!
I am just out of words to thank the lovely Admins of TWL and the judges :)
Not to forget,I will be winning a NOVEL !!!
Yes, I am just so excited about it !!

Also, A big round of applause for the winner MAITHILI ,
PULKIT, who shares the 1st runner - up position with me
and
SHRUTI , admins choice award winner.
CHEERS!
It's Party time !!

Just another peice of crap !

What am I?
Just another piece of crap?
Living out my life with no aim?
Just taking it the way it comes, going the way it wants me to.
With no thinking and no protest?
Guess I have lost all my senses.

I don't dream.       
I don't feel.
I don't wish
I don't speak
and certainly
I don't live my life anymore.

I simply wake up every morning.
Do the things that I am told to do or am supposed to do, as decided by some creepy rules of our society.

I don't think what I do.
I don't actually do what I do.
I simply just do.
Why?
Whats all this?
What have  I turned into?

 
I don't feel like meeting people, neither do I wanna meet my relatives or friends.
I don't wanna try something new in life. I just want it to go on and on, like some mere dull movie, with no twists and suspense's.

All I want is, to wake up every morning, do things as told my mom, go to college, attend classes, come back, eat, finish studies,sleep and then again start this all over gain, the next day.

What's all this?
Have I lost my mind? Or have I just gone insane?
These ain't signs of a normal human being!
What's happening to me?
Am I depressed?
Or have I lost interest in life?
Or
have I become
Just another piece of crap?

Sorry Mother

There have been times when I doubted your love for me. You being possessive with me, not allowing me to go out with my friends, made me think you didn't trust me enough to be on my own. It made me think, you didn't want me to be happy. I wanted to run out of your claws, get rid of your monarchy. I almost figured you as a Hitler of my life. I am sorry. There have been times when I thought you loved her more than me. When I thought I was an adopted child. I am sorry. You used to shout at me for not doing house work, beat me up for misbehaving or breaking up some vase or a toy. I hated you. I am sorry.

I used to be angry with you, used to make a sulking face when you used to shout at me, even for a second. I wanted to run away from all the work that you used to instruct me under strict instructions to be completed. I just wanted freedom from you. I am sorry mother Please forgive your daughter .

Silence

The biggest weapon in the world may be words but silence too can be the hero at times. It's not always necessary to convey ourselves by our words.At times, even Silence can do that. Silence can be the tool to build the strongest bond or weaken it.It all depends as to how silence is implemented and interpreted. Read the story of a girl, trying to convey something to her mother via her Silence on the word-press platform HERE. ( http://pagesfromdiaryofalostgirl.wordpress.com/ )

The Unknown !

When I was in love with him,

I thought I was being my true self.

But little did I realize, that I had turned into someone else !

Now that he's gone I have again turned into someone unknown ! :)

Time

Time passes.

Even when it seems impossible.

Even when tick of the second hand aches

like the pulse of blood behind a bruise.

It passes unevenly,

in strange lurches and dragging lulls ,

but pass it does.

Sign Misunderstood

“What do you want?”,she asked,sounding a bit irritated.

“You”,came the reply.

“That doesn’t gonna change what has happened between us”.

“Then tell me what I can do to change it”,he wanted her back,desperately now.

This was all she had been waiting to hear. She wanted to scream out her love for him

.Her heart pounded,skipped a beat and finally she gathered courage to speak,but words just won’t come.

He took it as a sign of her losing faith in his love.A sign misunderstood .

“I know I have been a jerk in your life. I have the capacity to hurt you and this is what made me run away from you.But trust me, every single second that I breathe,I remember you.”

She knew this all.She knew he loved her but just won’t admit and express it,a hard to understand soul he always has been.

“But trust me, this time I won’t leave you.Never ever. Just trust me and come back to me.I really really Love you.Please forgive me for all the past things that I have done to hurt and humiliate you.I am sorry”,he said sounding low now.

She had been waiting for this day and this very moment since the day they broke up.And now that all this was happening in real,she just couldn’t control her tears from showing up in her eyes.

But he thought she didn’t want him back again.He thought she was engaged with someone else.He took it as a sign telling him to back off as she had already moved on in life with some else.

He interpreted it as a sign that she wasn’t in love with him anymore and just didn’t want him back.But this was surely , a sign misunderstood.

She was crying.Dreams striking reality made her cry.

“Okay, I understand.I have no right to ask forgiveness for all the past deeds and obviously no right to ask for you and your love again.I am sorry that I called”,he hung up on her.

She stood dumbstruck.With the cell phone in her hands and frozen to death.She just lost what she thought was hers for life.Her silence was misinterpreted. But she couldn’t help correcting the sign misunderstood because the call log said the call was made by unknown caller,a Skype call with no number to dial back.

I don't even get a say !

It's my life, my carrier,
my present that's being affected
by decisions of my parents, my relatives and my friends
but
I don't even get a say in it.

They decide what I will do.
They decide what I should do
and definitely
they would be deciding
what I shall do.

Am I nobody?
Nobody to be cared of ?
Nobody to be paid enough attention,
To see whether I am happy and satiated by all the decisions that they have been taking?

Don't I get a say for my life, my present and my future?
Am I simply obliged to follow what they say,
Do as they say,
like some rules to be followed in a school.

I ain't a dead soul.
I too have a heart which gets hurt,
every-time I have to sacrifice my desires, my wishes.
I have a soul that gets impatient,
every-time I see people of similar age as that of mine, happier than me.

I cry every night, for what my life has become,
But I dot even get a say in that.
All I am supposed to do is,
react the way they want,
do what they feel like making me do
and obey all that they say.

They want me to be nice all the time.
Nice as a white swan can be.
And I am simply supposed to watch my life being ruined, in-front of me.
Being crushed,
as if some trash being crushed under one's foot at the street.

I am simply watching my whole life become hell,
a place,hard to survive,
hard to breathe in.
I feel like shouting at the top of my voice,
telling them that they are wrong at times,
telling them, that the decisions they make for me, aren't always right,
I want to yell and beg for a normal life,
a peaceful life that has been snatched away from me ruthlessly.

But I know
whatsoever may happen
and whatsoever I may feel or think,
At the end,
I don't even get a say !