Without Even Letting You Know...!!!!

    I will always be there for you,
   Without even letting you know............
 
   I will always be by your side,
   even if I don't have anyone by my side,
   Without even letting you know............
 
   I will always help you in time of need,
   without even letting you know............
 
   I will cry still try,
   Always,to make you smile,
   Without even letting you know............
 
   I will always listen to you                                         
   Being a silent speaker,
   Without even letting you know............
 
   I will always share your problems,
   Hiding mine,
   Without even letting you know............


   At the end,
   I will ruin myself
   Without even letting you know............
   But I will always LOVE you
   And that's what
   I
  Want you to know !!!

From My Heart.......... For My Heart... !

We both Love each other and want to be together,               
but destiny won't let it occur......
We both will Love each other and wish to be together,
But I guess Life hasn't planned it in that manner......


Then why to hate,fight or be angry with each other
And why not let me Love you forever???
Don't think how nice or awesome I am,
This just showcases how mean and selfish I am,
Because loving you makes me,
What really
I Am!

To, My Almost Lover........!

I Love You,

Yes I do,

And don't know why I do!!!!

You don't Love me,

Yes I know,

And I don't even wanna know!!!!

I cared for you,                                                 

Yes I did,

But couldn't make you realize it!!!                   

You never wanted me,

I guess you didn't,

But I was too dumb to notice it!!!!

 I was happy with you ,                                               

Yes that's true,

But now that you are  gone,

You don't need to know 

How I am doing without you!!!!

Because now,

I know,

It doesn't makes a difference to you,

Just the way it always was,

Between me and you,

I not being I,

But 

You,

You always being You!!!!

Love You My Almost Lover!

Another Two States..!!!!

          What?Thinking this as another copy of CHETAN BHAGAT?No,the title might appear to you the same but the story is not and even the title is not!This blog story of mine is really an imaginative concept which I dedicate to a close friend of mine,might be real or imaginative..who knows!,who faced a similar consequence in her life which totally changed her attitude and reaction towards her own life,but now thankfully she is more happy than she was!This is gonna be in parts and some real thrill and fun mingled with words!


[The story will be updated only twice monthly,if my academic schedule allows me to do so,else only once for sure....and don't ya all think that even the writer needs time to imagine some real yet imaginative, freak but romantic situations! lol !!


                                           PART - 1


            Two states by Chetan Bhagat starts inside IIM,Ahemdabad with the author and his present wife as the main characters but this story starts with Namita,our main female character on one of the biggest turning point of a students life,joining an engineering college.Lacs of students prepare for engineering entrance exams to get into the brain factory of India,as called by some,IIT,Indian Institue Of Technology."You get into it and your life is made",is one of the most common statements to be heard by the bread winner,obviously I mean fathers, in every family and Namita was no exception!But getting into only seven such institutions is not so easy,we all know,unless you have got some extraordinary brian, hence after IIT she was expected to get an entry into atleast some NIIT,National Institue Of Technology!But destiny had planned something else for our not so lively and enthusiastic towardslife,presently, Namita and the college into which she got admitted to was a deemed university with a good reputation but not as that of the prior mentioned instituions for getting a bachelor's degree.


           Her dad ,a passout from one of the most reputated instituions,was not really happy about her calm decision of getting into that college but neither he had the courage to  go against the not so many principles of her daughter for getting a position in a college on her own capability and not just because of her dad's money power!The main female character might appear strong to some here but in reality how fragile she was from inside ,only she knew!The melodrama of emotions and her love for her parents ,going inside her were terrific enough to make her more gloomy on the thought that now she would have to leave her Home Sweet Home.Her college was however not so far from her home,only 60 Kms,still the little bird was afraid to fly away from her cosy, comfortable and safe nest but to gain her lost self she had decided to do so regardless of the forhtcoming depressed state,she knew she would be in.Days went by and she finally got the admission letter from her ITS Engineering College,Delhi and finally the day she was supposed to leave her home came flying.


          She was happy for herself but sad for her parents,felt joyful for the new life but gloomy to leave behind her childhood memories,rejoiced on the thought of the new life awaiting for her but cried for she was leaving her most precious valuables behind,her parents ,felt independent yet bounded by the accompanaying memories of her home,parents and the darkest deep secret of her's about which very few knew.All bags packed,books kept and things collected,Namita was all set to leave for her new voyage to an unknown land which was going to be her home for the next four years,where she will be transformed into an Engineer and would be given a chance to transform herself too!,if she manages to overpower her  current depressed state!


           "Namaita beta,today you are going to step into a new life ,where you will get things to distract you from the right path of getting good grades in your exams but make sure that you don't get distacted by them and act in a wiser and sophisticated manner to turn out into a good student as well as a good daughter",her father said while she sat crying besides her mother."Our daughter is quite big enough now to decide and react respectively so you don't need to worry, isn't it Namita.I know it's hard time for you but beta you got to be brave and I know you are and will be.Now comeon it's time for us to leave".Namaita left her room,her things,her home and her parents behind with a heavy heart and finally got into the car to her hostel,her parents were dropping her,being her first time to the new place.In not less than 2 hours they reached their destination.She started unloading her luggage all the while thinking why she thought of becoming an Engineer ,why she chose to study in a far off college and not some college in her own city,why she wanted to have freeedom which she got on the cost of staying away from her home and family but actions once done can't be undone and so was the case here with her.


         "Bye bye Meeta,(her nickname)take care and enjoy your life ahead and don't be upset, you are very close and can come home whenever you feel like, okay, and we will always keep in touch with you through calls",her mother said while all that her father had got to say was "Namita this is the real time for you to grow and prosper in life so don't let us and yourself down this time ".She knew how strong her father was from outside the more fragile he was from inside,he motivated in a bad, offensive way but the same was not with her mother,as we all know women love expressing what they feel like and hence we come to the part where a loving mother, all soaked in tears is giving her only daughter a love filled hug while the daughter is not letting her leave, she is being watched and told by her father to be strong and enjoy the new mysterious yet joyful,expected,life for which she and the family had been awaiting much!!!


           Ring...,ring...ring, ring..ring, ring...she answered the phone and made all atempts to open her heavy eye lids which were really tired after last night's long ragging session taken in the name of genereal interaction in the hostel of the fresher's by the senior students of second ,third and even fourth year!! Why is it that the seniors take ragging as their legimate right when a fresher's batch enter the university.Some students were not in a mood to just give up to the not so usual interaction session but fearing the adverse effects of it,Namita decided not to be the unsual one.She was raggegd by a fourth year senior..(her bad luck came along with the good luck !)..after the general querries about personal and academic details she was prompted to answer the question,"Are you single?".That was taken as a surprise by her because till now she had been taught, back at home, that nice obedient girls should wait or rather let their parents decide which man is good enough to hold the steering wheel of their life,hence she kept herself away from all such things and never cared much to guard and pomp her God gifted beauty!"Hello I am talking to you, where are you lost?",said the senior again giving her a strange stare this time."Ah..ah..yes mam I am single "."Okay so ever had been in a relation?",one more question popped from the same senior but with a giggle this time."Hmm..ah ,no mam"."Okay, I like your attitude,ambivert huh? OKay you may leave but do remember to wish your seniors whenever you see them alright?"."Okay mam I will follow that,Thank you",and hence Namita could finally breathe properly and she hurried upto her room because she didn't wanted to be a prey to some other senior's group for fun tonight!


        "Hello Namita beta ,are you alright?What made you so long to pick up the phone?Where were you?Is your health okay?",the tensed mother triggered all the bullets of her questions in one breath  which were enough to irritate her in the first but then remembering her loving mother's impatient nature calmy she replied,"Mamma I was sleeping,was busy mingling with other fellowmates last night so went to bed late and this is the only reason why I answered your call late"."Okay beta but you should hurry up now because it's already eight o' clock and you should be hurrying up else you will miss your breakfast as well as your first class".Namita,removing her cosy blanket ,said "OKay mamma as you say now, I will talk to you later okay?I got to leave now".Finally she got up from her bed ,opened her closet ,yeah not exactly a closet but just some shelves made into the wall and covered by two planks of hard wood to safeguard them from dust but you can always think of bad things in a good way to feel like being priviliged even if you aren't!That's the way of looking at life by our main female character!Namita was really an uncertain creature which existed in a very prominent way sometimes and can be lost in her own imaginary world the very next moment,she can be the most joyful spirit and the most depressed soul the very next second!Well ,getting back to Namita,dressed in a well ironed cotton purple suit with a white chudidar,hair neatly combed,was ready to leave for her first lecture.On the way from her room to the mess for the breakfast she saw some new faces and some recognizable faces which she had known last night only.On her way her mind was occupied by numerous thoughts,how is she gonna make friends here?,who is she gonna sit with?,what will be her first impression on her professors?,how is she gonna adjust in this new world?,will she be able to cope up with the strangers she is seeing now?,and finally the usual question,since she decided to join this college,why,just why did she decided to go for engineering course?She was just so happy back at home.

     With this we come to the end of our first part leaving the puzzled girl with numerous thoughts about her forthcoming life which was soon gonna be surprising and shocking for her,who knows!What life has got in store for her,she was unaware of that,but you all will get to know about it very soon!