This was never my passion. But I did it for him. To make him proud. I know he hates me, reason unknown. I don’t know what wrong I have done to be the victim of his hatred. I don’t even know if he really hates me or is it just the perception picked from his actions and words seen and heard at events. I had never imagined our relation to be like this. I don’t know how it originated, I don’t know it’s course but I wish everyday for it to end.
The person I am now is born out of the depression. I have achieved everything in my life I had thought of a few years back, still the depression is gaining its claws on me! I have it all yet I don’t have anything! I feel alone standing out their in the crowd! Seems like world is moving fast while I am stuck at one place only.
College is ending and so is my secret relation with him. I have always cared for him as a friend and never knew he liked me. But I feel so terrible to know that I cannot reciprocate his love back to him and so I have to get it along as I have been doing so far. I know his little secret and will carry it to my grave. I have always loved him, but only as a friend and nothing more.
God has a plan for everybody, I had imagined mine to be a special as I had always been God’s favorite in terms of gifting with pain and pleasure. I thought it was yet to come but it had already arrived and I was standing there, unaware. The silence had started to creep inside my soul when I met Him! He was just another guy but little known me! But I didn’t know that I should have never met him!